Where can I get the strength to live?!

14 December, 2020 / Mateusz

We ask ourselves this question more and more frequently, and there often seems no prospect for change. Closed in the machinations of duties, everyday stress, frustration and rush, we begin to function and also to think like robots. We devote ourselves to work, children, home, and development. From time to time, we might catch up with a friend for a quick coffee or go out to a restaurant occasionally. Functioning within the constraints of ever-decreasing spare time concerns most of us, and in such an atmosphere it is hard to live a satisfying life. How can we change this situation?

Nobody can do it better than me

The beginning of this process can be subtle. You take care of the chores because you don’t want to disturb your resting partner after work by harassing him about the laundry. Anyway … he washed black socks with white shirts once and only caused you more trouble. Children grow, they need energy, and you won’t be feeding them pizza, so you go shopping, plan the menu and spend the afternoon cooking. Everyone has eaten? Husband has an important phone call, and the children have to do their homework, so loading the dishwasher is on you again. Classic. A sad classic. This is, of course, one of the scenarios that can take different forms and colours in every home, but regardless, it is a harbinger of an emotional catastrophe for one member of this system.

Little by little, we devote ourselves to others at the expense of our own emotional space. We give up our own pleasure and comfort because someone asked us for something. We lose the image of our own happiness, and the memories of past happiness when we felt satisfied with something of “our own”. It is as though life is seen through a fog. If you feel that you are hit by a crisis, that can be positive because crises are often a catalyst for change.

Work for a manager

If you want to recover, it’s time to change your mindset. Instead of working three jobs at once, we suggest you switch to being a director or manager. If you work from home, delegate responsibilities, schedule them over time and assign them to all family members. The first time they do it terribly, the next time they are a bit better, and after a few weeks, they will be well practised. Here you have a special task: do not correct anyone but keep accountable! Give tips, motivate, but never do it for them! The husband can do some shopping after work, and the children will take a minute to put the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner.

Once you’ve got your tasks sorted out, it’s time to take care of your calendar. Now schedule time just for yourself – for your own passions, pleasures and relaxation. Ideally, your calendar should include at least one thing each day that you really want to do. Try to make them larger projects from time to time, e.g., going to the cinema with a friend, partying with friends or a weekend outside the city.

The golden rules

If you want to regain balance in life, you have to stick to certain rules. The ones that are listed here are some of the basics that you need to take care of and follow systematically:

– Sleep – sleep at least 7 hours a day, try to get up and fall asleep at regular times, and if you have problems with insomnia or permanent fatigue, you can try the weighted blanket therapy.

– Rest is not sitting on the phone – scrolling photos on social media is not relaxing. Our stimulating senses, unfortunately, cannot cope with the processing of such an amount of information, so after a several-minute session, we are exhausted and irritable, not refreshed.

– Physical exercises – do a training session minimum three times a week – yoga, jogging, stretching. Anything that will improve your body.

– Read self-development books – self-development builds our sense of self-confidence and inner strength. If you don’t have time to devour books, try to read at least a chapter a week.

– A healthy 80/20 diet – a diet is the basis of our body’s functioning. If we supply ourselves with unhealthy fuel, no wonder we don’t have the strength to survive. Let’s eat in 80% mode of healthy things up to 20% our whims.